What's on the other side of fear?

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”

Do you ever feel like it would be soooo easy to achieve all your goals and create the life and business of your dreams … if you could just get out of your own way? 

I've been coaching smart, talented, and creative women for the past three years as a health and fitness (and now life!) coach, and whenever I ask a new client what holds her back, 95% of the time the answer is either:

(A) Some variation of “myself”

(B) “Not enough time" ...which is the same as “myself” since time management >> priorities >> our relationship with ourselves.

Yup, it's official. We are WAY too hard on ourselves.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you could stop being your own worst enemy and start being your own best friend and advocate? If you could stop letting your inner critic or fear block you from taking action, making a life pivot, or simply being happy and fulfilled?

Maybe you'd set harder boundaries.

Maybe you'd say "no" more often.

Maybe you'd spend less time around the people who leave you feeling exhausted/insecure/pissed off.

Maybe you would spend less time hustling and more time working on passion projects that may or may not be income-producing.

Maybe you'd leave the job, the relationship, move out of the city that's draining your energy.

Maybe... you'd figure out who you actually are??

We live in a world that’s constantly telling us to do more, be more, achieve more, and earn more, NOT TO MENTION the load of work, volunteering, family, friends, self care that we already have on our plates, so it’s easy to start believing that we aren’t good enough, which is a complete LIE that's keeping women trapped under our own glass ceilings.

I believe that learning how to face our fears with patience and compassion is the most radical and powerful action we can take if we really want to work towards female empowerment.

Ultimately, it's about taking ownership of our inner confidence, happiness, and the direction of our lives instead of living on autopilot or in reaction mode.

Choosing to decide that we are enough, just as we are, no matter what the world or media or our inner critic might say.

Over the past three years I’ve been on a quest of self discovery, absorbing all the personal development I can get my hands on so I can "find my potential," create my dream life/career, and overcome my self doubt and anxieties.

• I’ve worked with life coaches and energy healers.
• Taught myself how to meditate.
• Cut caffeine.
• Quit the birth control pill to heal my hormones.
• Made regular workouts and eating healthy my default lifestyle.
• Started going to yoga.
• I journal everyday.

And you know what?

That last part is the key.

Because through a regular journaling habit where I literally just brain dump stream-of-conscious crap that’s in my head, I’m able to dig deeper into what is really going on.

And I’m also able to go back and see where I was at and what I was struggling with years ago.

I recently noticed that even though I’m literally building my DREAM life all around me and am working through all my self doubts, insecurities, and “issues," I still stress out about the exact same things I always have.

Fear of failure.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of success.
Fear of nobody liking me or wanting to work with me.
Fear of being misunderstood.
Money stress.
Overwhelm because I want to do ALLTHETHINGS and I'm a perfectionist.

Every day anxieties that all revolve around the fear of not being good enough.

I can meditate the stress away, diffuse oils, clear my chakras, numb out with wine, psychoanalyze myself and understand exactly why I still struggle with this stuff, but at the end of the day these are fundamental human fears and they aren't ever going away.

---

WAYS THAT FEAR MANIFESTS IN YOUR LIFE AND BUSINESS

• Imposter syndrome or feeling like a fraud
• Overthinking
• Anxiety
• Stress
• Overwhelm
• Perfectionism
• Procrastination
• Comparisonitis
• FOMO
• Never feeling good enough
• Never feeling like you’re quite there yet…
• Burn out
• Working too much
• Emotional eating
• Sabotaging yourself when you start to see success
• Being self critical
• Judging yourself or other women
• “Mommy guilt”
• Guilt even if you don’t have kids
• Social media addiction
• Chronic fatigue or exhaustion
• Over exercising
• Body image hang-ups
• Obsession with planning, but failure to execute or follow through
• Need for control
• Feeling like a failure if you miss a goal
• Inability to earn money from your business
• “Procrastistudying” -- signing up for alllll the courses and webinars
• Scarcity mindset -- feeling like there’s not enough money/clients
• Not being able to relax or have downtime

The list is endless!

We’re always trying to escape or avoid our fear, stress, overwhelm, anxiety, (insert all negative emotions) and get to the other side.  

But what IS on the other side of fear?  

There’s a lot of hype these days around learning how to find alignment and flow, which seems to be the opposite of fear.

“Flow” is this mystical state of being where we can eliminate stress and hustle and turn our days into a smooth lazy river, trusting that everything we need and want is coming our way through law of attraction and that the universe has our back.

"Choose love over fear!" the experts proclaim.

Does this actually work? Maybe. At least we'll feel more calm.

But at the end of the day, fear will always pop back up, because it's part of our biological design. We can't ever completely overcome it!

What I’m discovering is that fear itself actually isn’t the problem. It’s how we perceive it.

And flow is actually not an absence of stress or fear, but simply allowing ourselves to experience and process ALL our emotions. Because if we try to numb or ignore the emotions we label as “bad,” we are also numbing ourselves to experiencing joy, abundance, love, and all the good ones too.

What would happen if we simply accepted our feelings, good and bad, without placing a judgement on ourselves?

If we stopped spending all our energy over-thinking, over-planning, trying to fix ourselves  … and just decided to show up as ourselves for who we are IN THIS MOMENT?

My hypothesis is that life, business, earning money, and simply being ourselves would all be a heck of a lot easier and more fun if we chose to accept that fear is just a part of being human, not something that's out to get us.

When we stop making a big deal out of our fear, it will fade into the background and become part of the kaleidoscope of emotions that we experience on a normal daily basis, and that's when we can find our flow.

So instead of “feel the fear and do it anyway,” how about just “feel the fear and do it?"

Let’s stop trying to get to the other side, and just live our lives!

This process is not something that’s theoretical or mindset-based. You can read my blog and nod your head, but at the end of the day this is something that has to be physically experienced.

SO!!! 

Wanna go there with me?

I’ve created a 3 day group program/mastermind/adventure called Fear & Flow, for courageous entrepreneurs or sensitive overachievers who are ready to dig deep and explore these topics with me!

I’m sharing some of my favorite journal prompts to get you digging deep, feeling your feels, and figuring out what “fear” and “flow” feel like to YOU, in your body.

We’ll also have a daily Facebook Live discussion and a group video call where we’ll come together and mastermind how to find the sweet spot or balance between fear/love, scarcity/abundance, hustle/flow in our own lives.

I want to bring together a small group of visionary women who are passionate about breaking out of our own self-imposed limitations and living a bolder, bigger, more passion driven life, because sometimes we just need someone to talk with about this crazy deep stuff! And I’ve discovered it’s so much fun to come together in community and mirror back each others’ light when we can’t see it ourselves.

If you want to join us, you can learn more here!

NOTE: registration for this round of Fear & Flow has closed, but make sure to join my mailing list to be the first to know when I relaunch!

xo Anna

Eating, drinking, and hiking our way through Galena, Illinois

It's crazy that this summer marks the fifth year Ben and I have lived in Chicago!

I grew up in central Illinois and never thought I'd be a city girl, but I guess it's official now. I do love this town. It's where we were newlyweds, where I went through my crazy quarter life crisis, and where we've made some lifelong friends. 

But oh my gosh you guys, the energy of Chicago is intense. It's a scrappy, fast paced city of hustlers, movers, shakers, corruption, violence, extreme weather, more delicious restaurants than you could ever visit in a lifetime, and a patchwork of neighborhoods that are each as culturally and economically distinct as a small country. 

We live in a neighborhood that's as quiet as it gets, but there's still always a sense of urgency and go-go-go. I try my best to carve out a little oasis at home, but sometimes I just have to get out of town back into the "normal" part of Illinois to relax and breathe!

In just one hour you can drive out into cornfields and big skies, and take a giant exhale.

Ben and I love to explore new places together and take mini getaways, since there are so many cool towns within a half day's drive of us in Illinois, Wisconsin, and Michigan.

Last week he had some time off work between the end of the school year and the beginning of summer school, so we decided to visit Galena, IL. It was my first time there and I fell in love because it's SO ADORABLE!

It's on the northwestern most edge of Illinois, only 20 minutes or so from the borders of Iowa and Wisconsin. In the 1800's it was one of the biggest steamboat ports, and the very first mining "boomtown" before the silver and gold rushes in California. (Lead deposits = the name Galena).

The topography and history of the area is also unique and fascinating, especially to a geography nerd like me.

It's situated in a patch of land stretching into southern Wisconsin called the Driftless area, untouched by the glaciers that scraped the rest of the Midwest flat, leaving glacial "drift" (fertile, mineral rich soil) behind. 

There are rolling hills, rare species of plants, archeological remains, deposits of minerals, and unique microclimates as a result of the un-glaciated terrain, which gives you the feeling of being in a completely different country.

On top of the landscape, the actual town of Galena hasn't really been touched since the glory days of lead and zinc mining, and it's been revitalized into a trendy tourist destination full of boutiques and restaurants. 

Since Ben is a history teacher, we also wanted to visit because Ulysses S. Grant had a home in Galena and there's a lot of Civil War era history there, including an unexpectedly awesome small history museum!

Because we're cheap, we stayed at a Ramada on the edge of town but next time I definitely want to check out one of the cute bed and breakfasts or inns. 

In 36 hours, we packed as much into our trip as we could!

The town was very quiet since it was the middle of the week right after Memorial Day, and the weather was perfect so we started our adventures at the Casper Bluff reserve, where there are ancient burial mounds that are part of the larger Effigy Mound culture that existed between A.D. 700 and A.D. 1000 in Wisconsin, Iowa, Minnesota and Illinois. We honestly couldn't figure out what was a mound versus a hill, and the bugs were driving Ben cray, but we met some adorable cows!

Oh, don't mind us. We're just the cliche city folk who are gonna take a selfie with your cows...

After our hike, we drove over to Galena Cellars vineyard, a gorgeous little winery, for a tour and wine tasting. After living in Oregon, I've turned into a bit of a wine snob, but I was really impressed with this place. It was super homey and friendly, and they had dozens of wines to try! We'll definitely be back. There are also lots of fun events there and hellooooo wedding venue if you are looking for a unique event space.

For just $10 you can get a tour of the facility and a wine tasting with 6 pours. The wine tasting ladies were very nice, friendly, and enthusiastic about the wines and gave us a couple extra tastes too. We ended our visit by grabbing a couple of (CHEAP AND HUGE) glasses of our favorite wines, some cheese and crackers, and sat on the front porch looking out over the countryside.

HAPPY PLACE!

That night we had dinner at Vinny Vanucchis, an adorable Italian restaurant with a great patio. 

The next day we started off at the Galena Historical Society and U.S. Grant Museum which was very impressive and full of things to learn about the geographic, cultural, and political history of the area (must visit if you are a Civil War buff). In a really cool twist of fate, the building is situated literally on top of one of the original mining shafts, which you can peek down into! The museum also houses the original Peace in Union painting by Thomas Nast, depicting the surrender of Lee to Grant at Appomattox.

It was still fairly early by the time we made it out of the museum, so we grabbed coffee and wandered around the park and downtown shops. 

We wanted to check out the brewery for lunch, but it was unfortunately closed on Wednesdays so we went to a tavern called Gobbie's with the most AMAZING unhealthy appetizer I've ever eaten in my entire life. They're called beer nuggets and I still don't know what that means, but they appear to be deep fried herbed dough bites dusted with Parmesan and served with a delicious chunky marinara sauce. NOM. 

On our way out of town we stopped at Blaum Bros Distilling Co. because heck, the theme of this trip was eating and drinking everything possible. It followed the theme of every other place: unexpectedly amaaaaazing! Ben sampled a few of the liquors and I had a delicious bourbon cocktail.

We worked off the buzz with a visit to Horseshoe Mound, which seems to be the highest point in the area with gorgeous views and a painfully steep little hiking loop. I mean, can you believe this is Illinois, only 3 hours from Chicago?

When people call the Midwest a "flyover zone," I say hey. Watch yo'self and come see and eat and drink your way through MY Midwest. (Also see: Bayfield, WI).

What to do in Galena

Galena Historical Society & Grant Museum
Wander up and down the boutiques and shops -- eat all the samples in the kitchen and canned good stores!
Hike or picnic at a nature preserve
Galena Cellars Vineyard (there's also a tasting room downtown)
Blaum Bros. Distilling Co.

On our list for next time:

The Grant Home
Belvedere Mansion and Gardens

Where to eat in Galena

Gobbie's -- Lunch or dinner, great outdoor space. EAT THE BEER NUGGETS (they come as a side with pretty much everything). The pizza looked good too.
Vinny Vannucchis -- Family style Italian restaurant with lots of pasta. Great outdoor patio and Negroni cocktails.
The Market House Restaurant -- Basic Midwest comfort food with lots of gluten free options. Good for cheap lunch!

On our list for next time (lots of places are closed Tuesday and Wednesdays):

Victory Cafe
Otto's Place
Fried Green Tomatoes
Fritz and Frites
Galena Brewing Company

SO MUCH TO EAT!

Where to stay in Galena

We stayed at the Ramada Inn because we wanted to spend all our money on food and drinks, lol! It was a very nice and clean motel, but skip the continental breakfast. If you want more of a special experience, there are a bajillion adorable bed and breakfasts and quaint inns downtown.

Where is your favorite place to go for a weekend getaway?

xo Anna

Open-hearted: my word of the year

Back in January I decided to choose a word of the year. Have you ever done this?

I always get caught up in the New Years goal setting rush, but I also know myself and I know my goals are constantly shifting and evolving so I wanted one specific word or mantra to come back to and ground myself through the unknown months of adventure to come.

I decided to choose the word OPEN-HEARTED.

It felt like a way to release all the pressure I’d been placing on myself over the last few years as I launched and grew my businesses and evolved into Anna 2.0 -- this new confident, self-assured, happy version of myself that I'm still getting used to!

Why open-hearted?

When Ben and I were joining our church a couple of years ago, we took a new members class and learned that one definition of sin is a closing off of oneself, or turning away from God and inward to our own agenda.

God’s grace and love is constantly pouring into us, and when we feel anxious, overwhelmed, or alone it’s not because we aren’t worthy of love. It’s because we’re literally blocking ourselves from receiving all these good vibes.

As a highly sensitive introvert, it’s easy for me to close myself off to the world and go into hermit mode, especially since I work from home. But when I get too caught up in my head and my own agenda, I start to feel stressed, lonely, and let fear and anxiety take over. No bueno!

“The presence of fear is a sure sign that you are trusting in your own strength.”
A Course in Miracles

By practicing open-heartedness, I originally wanted to open myself up to new experiences, opportunities, and adventures this year. The older I get, the less intense and serious I feel about life. I want to have more fun, take myself less seriously, take pressure off, learn how to embrace the journey instead of constantly racing towards some destination and feeling like a constant failure if I'm not there yet.

I thought being "open-hearted" was an active verb - something I would practice or do.

Instead it’s become something much deeper, a way of being.

I'm learning how to open myself up to RECEIVE as well as give. To be vulnerable. It's not just about having adventures and exploring the world. It's about relaxing, slowing down, standing still. Experiencing life right now, as it's happening around me, instead of rushing off to find it.

Turn on.
Light up.
Live with more pleasure, more joy, more fun…even in the mundane.

Finding beauty everywhere, in everything.

In the two energetic/sparkly pre-teens next to me at Starbucks drinking sugary smoothies, stalking their friends on Instagram, and discussing babysitting techniques.

In the winter sunset peeking out above the rooftops of my city.

In the sound of birds singing as cold rain pours down.

In the flowers that drip off the trees in April.

Sitting in my parents' backyard on a warm 70* afternoon watching the sun glow through the tulips and new leaves.

Turning 30 with open arms and a fresh perspective, leaving this emotional rollercoaster of a decade behind.

Doing less.

Taking stuff off my plate. Saying no, even to volunteer activities that would leave me feeling drained and resentful.

Taking ownership of my time, my energy, the way I talk to myself.

Learning how to follow through on the commitments I make to myself, lean in to do the work when it's uncomfortable, but also to lean back when I need to work from a place of rest.

Learning how to experience the FULL range of emotion, instead of numbing the extremes with alcohol or mindless snacking.

Knowing that I'll always have far to go, and room to grow, but being content where I'm at anyways.

Learning how to embrace the messy process of life.

Self compassion.

Removing the timeline from my dreams.

Giving myself more white space to think, dream, process, integrate, create, daydream.

Following my curiosity instead of listening to the critical voice in my head.

Receiving support, love, and being vulnerable. Asking for help instead of pretending that I have it all together.

Learning how I operate and why, so I can give myself permission to own my strengths and weaknesses. Personality tests, strengths tests, natal charts, human design, chakras, energy, I am fascinated by it all.

Writing and sharing and speaking from my heart instead of passively consuming information.

Spending less time scrolling through social media and more time building relationships and connections with the women I stalk.

Reconnecting with old friends who knew me before I knew myself.

Discovering that yes, I actually can meditate and do yoga. And it feels amazing.

I’ve realized that over the past couple of rollercoaster years, I’ve been in a season of becoming.

Growing, learning, evolving, shifting.

It’s been exciting, but also terrifying and exhausting. I’m finally starting to feel that I’ve arrived. Not at a final destination, but at a place where I can just be me. Allow myself to be happy and grateful for the simple fact that I’m alive and healthy and breathing.

Something is shifting deep inside of me, unlocking a source of energy that feels grounded and free.

Faith, surrender, trust.

When I finally release my control-freak grip on external goals and growth and live AS IF I am already where I want to be, it’s like all the fear and stress and anxiety goes poof.

And once you start to slow down and pay attention, synchronicities start to appear. You wanna hear something funny? After writing the rough draft of this post, I took a break to go to a midday yoga class and the instructor Alex’s theme for us was heart opening. She led us through a beautiful series of heart opening poses and shared her own reflections on what it means to live with an open heart and open mind. I almost started crying!

We are always supported, you guys. We just have to get out of our own heads and recognize the love and support that’s constantly flowing into our lives.

After I came home to eat and shower I opened my Google doc to add some of her thoughts to this post and realized that I’d already written them.

Vulnerability. Accepting what comes, what is, what is happening.

Trust that whatever is coming into your life is happening for the highest good of you and everyone involved.

We live in a crazy scary and challenging world, but there's so much love surrounding us if we're brave enough to keep our hearts open.

Namaste ;)

xo Anna