Baby Henry made his way into the world at the end of May at 11:11pm, one day past his due date just like his big brother!
He’s been with us now for three months, and watching a newborn seem to inflate over such a short period of time while navigating extreme sleep deprivation fog and trying to maintain a hold on your sanity is such a trip.
I want to share his birth story so I can process what happened and wrap up our “fourth trimester” with a sense of completion.
I also love reading positive birth stories so I hope you enjoy this one, especially if you’re feeling a little nervous about adding a second baby to your own crew!
I was extremely grateful to get pregnant again so soon after my miscarriage, but last fall and winter were extremely challenging as we were in the process of buying, closing, and moving into our new house, I kept getting horrible colds T brought home from daycare, and I was dealing with some pretty major anxiety episodes as a result of all the personal craziness. Plus all day nausea that lasted well into the 2nd trimester, and the extra exhaustion of chasing after a 3 year old.
So although Baby was healthy and developing perfectly, this pregnancy was not enjoyable for my body and by 39 weeks I was more than ready to eject him!
Towards the last several weeks he was sitting pretty low and I was experiencing lots of hip and pelvic pain that made it really hard to move around or walk more than just around the house. I kept waiting and expecting to feel the signs of pre-labor that I had with my first pregnancy, like spotting, cramping etc but all that was happening was more and more frequent Braxton-Hicks contractions. There were a couple nights they started to get regular and I was convinced THIS IS IT!! …but then I’d fall asleep and wake up in the morning feeling fine again. Gah!
At my 40 week check up on my due date, I saw an OB at the practice instead of my usual midwife, which was lucky because she was able to do a cervical check right away (usually my office visits were on a couch, not an exam room and I loved the noninvasive approach but I was ready to get serious). I was already at 2cm so I requested a membrane sweep, which I also had done at my 40 week with Thomas, which sent me into labor so I was hoping it would do the trick again!
Again, I was expecting to have the spotting and cramping I had experienced before, but it didn’t happen. My mom was staying with us that week to take care of Thomas, and they all left in late afternoon to pick up food while I chilled on the couch.
All of a sudden around 4-5pm I started to notice my BH contractions were feeling more regular again so I started timing them and sure enough, they were coming 5 minutes apart on the dot.
Around 7pm they suddenly started coming 3 minutes apart, so I paged the on-call midwife to check in and let her know things were happening. She suggested calling back in 3 hours to see how things were going. My early labor with Thomas had lasted about 12 hours before we left for the hospital so I assumed it was going to be a long night!
Each individual contraction started to feel more and more intense but still manageable, so around 9pm I called back and let her know we wanted to go to the hospital just to be safe and get settled in. I felt like we had left a little too late the first time around and I didn’t want be “that” pregnant lady like in the movies, rushing in all dramatic and yelling, half dressed and dripping fluid while an orderly rushes in with a wheelchair (aka Thomas’ arrival).
In between contractions I felt completely normal, so I was second guessing that I was even in labor! WHICH ONE OF THE MIDWIVES HAD WARNED ME ABOUT so I am glad I decided to listen to my body and instincts, not my brain, as we will find out!
And of course every time I was on the phone with her my body would stop contracting, so I must have sounded delusional about the whole thing. I kept waiting and waiting for signs of progress, but I wasn’t getting anything which really messed with my head and made me think I was still in early or false labor. I mean, who gets a membrane sweep at 2cm without even a tiny bit of spotting?!
By this time it was around Thomas’ bedtime so we did our normal routine and I laid down with him to put him to sleep. While in labor. What a second time mom moment LOL.
Then Ben threw our bags and stuff into the car and we said bye to my mom, while I was still second guessing my whole decision to head in so early.
As soon as we were driving to the hospital I realized I made the right choice! Contractions were getting intense enough that I had to stop to breathe through them as we walked in from the parking garage. Another dad who was heading to his car told us “good luck” with a smile and I wanted to punch him in the face.
We checked in around 9:45. Sure enough, I was already 6cm dilated and so began my refrain of yelling “are you SERIOUS?!” at our midwife Julie as I was still in denial. Triage was very uncomfortable and challenging but luckily we breezed through really fast and got checked into a room.
On the whiteboard where they put all your info, the nurse had written “Henry” under the baby section, and seeing his name officially for the first time made me feel really excited, like this is actually happening!
I decided I definitely wanted an epidural this time around, so they got that ordered and I labored for a while on all fours on the bed. I could literally feel his little body moving down through my pelvis, it was wild. Not fun, but I was still decently managing the contractions.
Of course it always takes like an hour to get the actual epidural inserted (I ran out of time with Thomas and had him unmedicated which felt like actual torture) so by the time we were making the decision I was already at 7-8cm but still wanted it to get through transition. Everyone always says the insertion is the most painful part but I actually didn’t feel much at all and it went great, much better than I anticipated! My uterus was a champ and didn’t even contract through the insertion process which was one of my fears.
Another thing I didn’t know is that it takes 20 minutes or so for the anesthesia to make its way through your body. So once the angel nurses were finally situating me on the bed to let it kick in, the midwife told me to let her know when I started feeling some pressure like I needed to poop.
Pretty much the very next contraction I was like, “uhhh I feel like I need to poop!” and she looked down and said, “it’s the head!” to which my response was “LET’S GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!”
So picture the scene: I’m flat on my back in the bed surrounded by pillows, the epidural is juuuuust barely making my legs tingly, I don’t even know what Ben is doing at this point, and I am trying to push as best I can while half numb and prone. After only a couple push attempts the midwife says, “he’s coming out in the amniotic sac, this is so cool!” and all the nurses in the room freak out with excitement, grab Ben’s phone and start snapping photos of my crotchal region (which I’m happy we have photos of the event, but dang it is graphic haha). Apparently my water didn’t break until his head was coming out! RIP midwife’s cute white sneakers.
And just like that he was born! What! Are you serious?!
They immediately placed him on my chest and I was just in utter disbelief that I had a baby already. He was born at 11:11 so we didn’t even make it to the next day. Because he was a little stunned from his fast arrival he needed a little oxygen and help to get his breathing going but thankfully the NICU team took one look and said “oh he’s fine.”
Did I mention he pooped everywhere? Thomas also dumped his load of meconium while being placed on my chest, but Henry pooped, then pooped, then pooped some more while he was on my chest, while he was being measured, while he was having his first shampoo to wash off the poop. I think he pooped 6 times in his first 12 hours of life when you’re supposed to track it all, before he even really ate anything. In case you’ve never had a baby, the stuff that’s in their intestines in utero is like sticky black tar and they pump it out like a soft serve machine, it’s gross but also kind of hilarious.
My epidural finally sort of kicked in right after he was born so I had a really euphoric golden hour, and didn’t even have any tearing or need stitches despite his fast and furious entry (ARE YOU SERIOUS?!)
Overall I don’t regret getting the epidural because the whole process gave me something tangible to focus on during active labor and I fortunately had no side effects besides a little itchiness as it wore off and a sore spot at the insertion site for a couple days.
Would I have gotten one had I known how fast he was going to come? Maybe not, but I still think it took the worst edge off the last contractions. If you’ve done unmedicated, you know the difference between 7cm and 10cm? It felt like I peaked out at 7-8 and never had time to enter that void of alternate consciousness where you feel like your body can’t possibly endure another minute. And I didn’t miss that one bit. Yay! But that’s also probably because he came so fast, less than 90 minutes after we checked into the hospital and about 5 hours after I started tracking my “Braxton Hicks.” I do think the false labor I had all week had been doing something.
Our hospital stay was a sleepless blur, but going through things the second time and knowing what to expect helped me actually enjoy it and try to intentionally soak up every moment instead of freaking out about going days without sleeping.
The whole labor and delivery experience felt night and day different from the first time around, in that it was so fast, calm, and overall less of a sense of urgency and overwhelming pain.
So there ya have it!
Everyone says each baby and birth experience is different, but it’s still amazing to me that it can be so different between births for the same mom.
Henry is the sweetest, calmest, delightful little squish and I absolutely love having a family of four! We feel complete (barring an act of God) and while it did take my brain a little while to catch up and bond with him, we are finding our groove and time is flying by.
The last three months have flown by in a blur, but I also can barely remember the time before him. Which I think is one way to sum up parenthood!
xo