2022 was a year.
I was listening to an Etsy sellers podcast this morning, and the host said she considered 2022 a year of “staging” for Etsy, i.e. maybe not a ton of capital growth but many important behind the scenes updates and new features were rolled out that will pave the way for growth and expansion in this year and beyond for the platform.
And that’s how I think of 2022 for me too: a year of staging.
It was an impactful year full of lots of exciting change and deep growth, but in the kind of enormous life shifting moments that are going to take time to really settle into and see come to life.
As someone who thrives on stability and comfort, overall it felt challenging and scary in many ways instead of exciting and joyful, but I know all the changes are setting the foundation for the future I deeply desire. So I’m trying to stay present, trust the process, and enjoy the ride as much as possible!
Before I share my goals and intentions for 2023, I wanted to look back and recap the year we just completed. To bring a bit of structure to the chaos, I’m dividing my review into 2 main categories - Life and Business. These two areas are fairly intertwined for me on a day to day basis and influence each other, but I like considering them separately.
Let’s start with life updates!
Here are the major highs and challenges of 2022.
I’m choosing the term “challenges” instead of “lows,” because hard times don’t necessarily mean everything sucks and there are bright spots even in the hardest days. But let’s just say these experiences really stretched me… and really sucked at times, ha.
2022 Life Highs
Buying our house!
When we moved from Chicago to Michigan in October 2021 we decided to rent for a year to get familiar with the area before looking for our first house. It just so happened that we moved during the most insane housing market ever. Even though our lease went through October 2022, we started the home search process in early spring and braced ourselves for rejection. Oh boy did we get rejected!
Thanks to record low interest rates, crazy demand, and limited supply, most starter homes were selling for up to $40-50,000 over asking prices, which already seemed ridiculously high.
In July, after putting in over 13 offers (I lost count) and attending dozens of open houses and showings, rising interest rates started to cool the competition a bit and we got an offer accepted on a mid-century brick ranch in a quiet residential side of town, closed at the end of August, and moved in mid-October! Despite all the rejection, the entire process felt pretty smooth and it’s still hard to believe we own a house. It has many quirks, but it is ours! I have to give Ben major credit for navigating us through the buying and moving process since I was mentally and physically incapacitated for many months (see: Challenges).
Getting pregnant with a healthy Bebe Dos
Sometimes when it rains, it pours. And things just have to happen all at the same time. We decided the time was right to start trying to expand our family at the same time as searching for a house. I do not recommend. But I also have no regrets and wouldn’t change anything if I had the choice.
It took us a few months to conceive our first two pregnancies (one loss, one Thomas) so I assumed it would be the same this time, but lo and behold I am now a goddess of fertility at the perfect age of 35 and got knocked up verrrrrrry quickly two times in a row.
The first embryo pulled the emergency evacuation lever and jettisoned itself, but the second babe decided to give life a shot and is due to make his arrival in late May! The first half of the pregnancy was rocky but I’m feeling a lot better and starting to feel him kick and move now at 21 weeks pregnant (have an anterior placenta so that has been muffling things a bit) and it’s feeling more and more real!
Spending lots of time with family and friends
It has been a joy watching Thomas bloom from a sweet and sensitive toddler into a confident and silly 3 year old. Even if he is still too stubborn to use the potty, ha. And we were able to spend lots of time visiting family and hanging out with old and new friends, which I want more of now we’re in a post(ish?) pandemic world.
2022 Life Challenges
Miscarriage number two in July
I wrote a full post to process this experience that you can read here.
Mental health challenges from all the change and transitions
When it comes to mental health, I used to think of what it felt like to have postpartum depression, or having a stressful fast paced schedule and a loud inner critic. But stress can be happening deep beneath the surface and bubble up in weird ways.
I started noticing heart palpitations in the spring and actually went to the doctor for an EKG and blood work because feeling uncontrollably “off” in my body is a huge anxiety trigger in itself. Everything came back normal. Then in August and September I went through the worst physical anxiety of my life. It culminated in what felt like a 24 hour panic attack where my body was flooded with adrenaline and I couldn’t shut it off, even though my mind and thoughts were “calm.”
Looking back, this happened the weekend we were closing on our house, and also probably the same time my body was getting pregnant again, so add some hormonal whackadoodle in there too. But in the moment it felt like I was going to be dealing with debilitating anxiety for the rest of my life.
Luckily I’ve been able to get the support I need to feel like myself again, and I’ve taken a lot of pressure off myself, embraced a season of surrender, and am in the process of finding a therapist (especially one specializing in perinatal mental health).
And now onto a quick business review!
WHAT DIDN’T WORK
Reflecting on our “failures” is a gold mine of insight and can be a path back to the light in both life and business, especially in seasons where everything is new, we are doing things we’ve never done before, and don’t even know what we need. I always tell my clients sometimes you have to go past your own limits to know where they exist.
One of my lowest moments in 2022 was a week in May while Ben was gone on a work trip and I was solo parenting with no childcare, attempting to launch my cycle awareness course as a live group program, and Thomas decided to drop his nap. Let’s just say I felt like I failed on all counts as a mom and coach and was so burned out by the time Ben came home, I literally cried for 2 days just to decompress.
That week was a big eye opener and gave me a lot of clarity for what I personally need to thrive, or at the bare minimum stay afloat. These insights and “life lessons” are PRICELESS!
So here are the 3 biggest biz lessons I learned the good old fashioned hard way this past year:
Launching lots of small offers and virtual events and chasing my bright/shiny ideas without giving myself enough time to implement… resulting in lots of fails and flops. Turns out the “throw spaghetti at the wall” approach is not the way to create momentum in online business.
Trying to sustain my business with zero or minimal childcare … some women can do this with success and grace but I can’t. And that’s ok! Lesson learned at least in this season. I need at least 3 full days plus a co-parent on the other days to feel like myself.
Letting the feelings of constant change and un-groundedness get to my head and prevent me from taking action. It’s a constant work in progress to remember that life is always going to be chaotic and messy, and we have to choose to show up anyways instead of waiting for better or calmer circumstances!
WHAT WORKED/IS WORKING
Investing in support!!
The first investment I recommend to anyone starting or growing their own business with small children is childcare. The second is some kind of coaching to help you stay focused, accountable to your goals, and out of your own head. I avoided these two things for way too long because “I didn’t have the money,” but sometimes you have to invest money to make money.
Streamlining the heck out of my business to focus on just two main priorities for 2023.
Launching lots of smaller, low cost programs and memberships in 2022 didn’t work and kept draining my energy and distracting my focus, so for 2023 I’ve let go of every shiny side project except for my 1:1 life coaching, which is ultimately the only thing I want to do anyways and will allow me to support a small number of clients in a deep, meaningful way while creating consistent monthly income. I’m also keeping my Etsy shop open as a creative outlet because it brings me joy and fulfillment.
Figuring out what’s important to me right now, what brings me joy in this season of life, and dropping all expectations, pressure, and comparison to others.
I’m allowing myself to be supported instead of trying to do everything by myself more than I ever have before, because I’ve been forced to. This goes from letting Ben step up as a co-parent and take over house stuff, to starting anxiety medication, to allowing my more go-getting friend to schedule much needed girl time.
And heading into 2023, I feel like a completely different person than I was this time last year.
I’m more at peace, grounded, and optimistic about where I am, who I am, and where I’m headed even if I can’t see everything that’s coming. I know I can trust myself and my support system to make it through hard times, which makes it easier to appreciate and soak up the good times.
In my next post I’ll share my 2023 goals and intentions, because after two years of drifting and giving myself space to BE through some big life transitions, I finally feel ready to take a more intentional and active role in showing up in life and business.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this little behind the scenes peek!
xo Anna
