How I'm planning my self-employed maternity leave as a second time mom

We’re officially in the 2 month countdown until baby boy arrives, and I’ve been doing a lot of planning and strategizing around how I want to approach taking leave from my business this second time around.

You can read about how I planned my first maternity leave here

What I learned from my first self employed “maternity leave” and postpartum experience

The biggest challenge I faced the first time around was simply inexperience. I was having my first baby and literally didn’t know what it would be like to be a new mom! Would I want to work less or take a break to spend more time with my baby? I assumed I wouldn’t want to put my infant in full time daycare (flexibility was the main reason I started my own business in the first place) but how much childcare would I need? How do you even find childcare? How would I make enough money to pay for all our new expenses and still take care of myself? 

All I could do was see what my friends and peers were going through as they had babies, and absorb all the advice I was getting from all sides.

The overarching message I was absorbing was “the baby years go by so fast, and you will never regret spending more time with your baby! You will want to be present and soak it all up.”

So, I didn’t really make any set-in-stone postpartum plans for childcare or work, and decided to just see what I wanted and needed after I had my baby.

Regarding my business, my life coach and spiritual mentor at the time advised me to drop everything and focus on building up my 1:1 client base because with the type of work I do, it would be possible to take client calls with a baby. 

But I completely ignored her :P and went on to attempt way too many goals, projects, and launches- ultimately spreading myself too thin and making little progress, which just compounded my stress and feelings of overwhelm.

Ah, the curse of the easily inspired multi-passionista!

THE REALITY OF MY EXPERIENCE:

After my husband went back to work (back in the pre-pandemic days when he commuted to an office), I was left all alone all day with a wailing nugget, felt completely alone, and sunk into postpartum depression with the isolation and brain numbing monotony.

Re-learning how to do basic things as a new mom like getting out of the house or driving somewhere with my baby felt completely insurmountable. 

WHAT I LEARNED

What I’ve learned through experience about crafting your own maternity leave as a solo entrepreneur can be summed up by what I’m calling “the 3 S’s:”

Support, Simplify, and Systematize!

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1. Set Up Support!

If you only do one thing to prepare your life and business for having a baby, THIS IS IT.

You are going to need so much support, and that is completely normal! It doesn’t mean you’re weak or a failure. We live in a culture (in the US) that was literally founded on freedom and independence, but the fact is that you can’t do everything on your own especially after having a baby, and you shouldn’t expect that of yourself.

Think about:

• Business support, whether that means childcare or coaching for some structure and accountability

• Postpartum support (mental and physical - think psychotherapy, pelvic floor physical therapy, lactation help if you’re breastfeeding, meal trains, who is going to clean your bathroom or teach you how to use your baby wrap or breast pump etc)

• Support for navigating the identity shifts and how your life is going to dramatically change overnight from maiden to mother (especially if it’s your first baby)

• Support with your older kids if it’s not your first baby

• Support so you can continue to prioritize 1:1 time with your partner

Last fall I hired a business coach and joined a mastermind to give myself some support and it was the best personal and business decision. I’ve already joined the next round of the mastermind so I know I’ll be supported when I come back from maternity leave later this summer. 

I know that if I try to get things done on my own, they just won’t happen and I don’t want to feel like I”m free floating in the cloudy chaos of postpartum.

On the personal side, I’m also getting established with a perinatal therapist for mental and emotional support.

I also need to acknowledge that it’s been four years since my first baby rodeo and we are fortunate to be in a completely different life situation. I’ve been intentionally creating my “village” or system of support ever since becoming a mom, and our household has privileges that many don’t.

• Ben works from home, is a true co-parent and partner, and gets 3 months of paid family leave. Yes I fully appreciate this and him!

• Thomas is now a semi-independent preschooler and will continue going to school 3 full days each week.

• We live 35 minutes from my mother in law and have made a few babysitter connections so I’ll be able to have support with the baby when I need it. 

• I’m taking midwife approved medication for my anxiety which has been helping me feel much more emotionally and mentally stable.

• And my business has been established for four more years than before! I have much more experience and clarity in what I do and my long term goals.

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2. Simplify

Over the last year I’ve been slowly letting go of extra side projects and smaller offers in my business to focus exclusively on my 1:1 coaching for the foreseeable future.

Instead of viewing having a baby as the end of life as I know it, I’m taking a longer perspective when it comes to my work (since I assume I will be doing this decades!) and thinking more in terms of a 3-5 year strategic plan vs. “how much can I accomplish in this calendar year.”

Are there programs, offerings, and group experiences I want to create and launch? Absolutely! I love bringing women together and would espeiclly love to do in-person womens circle at some point. I would love to launch a podcast and run another round of Wild Synchronicity or launch my Back to Biz with Baby group program.

AND I WILL!

Just not this year ;) 

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3. Systematize 

My loose timeline is to take 8 weeks off work, then pick back up 1:1 client calls and work a few hours a week once we feel pretty established in our routine. I’m not going to launch anything new or take on projects for the rest of the year, just continue the momentum I’ve built in the past several months. 

Intentional work I have been doing over the past 6 months to get into a flexible and realistic work flow:

• clarifying my niche, audience, and offerings

• relationship building, in person and online

• content batching

• writing a regular blog/newsletter

• honing my social media strategy

• launching a new free offer with automated emails that nurture my audience and lead into my paid coaching offer

• establishing set times and days of the week to take client calls

• creating a “content bank” of copy, posts, and emails I can send

As someone who is easily inspired and has “shiny object syndrome” and endless creative ideas, it is super super super hard for me to let go and simplify.

But I shifted my mindset.

Instead of looking at what I am missing out on or sacrificing, I’m looking at what’s most important to me right now, and giving myself lots of permission slips:

To have low energy.

To work less.

To have more time and space to prepare for the baby and enjoy spending time with my firstborn in our last weeks as a family of 3.

To make space for fun hobbies and projects like decorating our house… embroidery… sewing for fun… instead of feeling like I need to cram as many work projects into my life as possible to prep for leave.

The thing about taking a leave is that you will come back!

It’s ok to save some work for later if you don’t get everything done.

It’s ok to schedule projects, goals, and ideas out on your timeline, even years in the future.

Permission to be present in the moment.

Permission to change your mind, and change your plans if it turns out you need or want something different!

Having a baby might be the end of life as you know it, but it’s the beginning of a whole new chapter that is going to surprise, delight, and stretch you in ways you can’t even fathom right now.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. As painful as it is for me to accept this… as a Type A control freak who strives on structure and plans… maybe this is an invitation to go with the flow a little more!

When I was pregnant with my first baby, one of my biggest fears was how I would manage to continue the work I loved as a coach and creative entrepreneur while also being the present mama I wanted to be.

It felt impossible because it was all so new and I didn’t see many other people or role models living this “middle path” that’s not really being a stay at home mom, but also not being a full time working mom.

Our brains automatically go to Worst Case Scenario thinking, so we have to choose positive possibilities instead.

So I created this affirmation:

What if…

✨Having a baby is the BEST THING that could happen to my life and business✨

And honestly, it will be true if you decide to make it come true.

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I know that planning for a baby and maternity leave as a creative business owner or solo entrepreneur feels completely overwhelming, which is why I love doing my part to support women who are transitioning into motherhood or balancing your creative purpose driven work in the world with your calling to be a mom.

If you want some help brainstorming what YOU need for your maternity leave, you can click here to schedule a totally free 30 minute call with me. I’d love to help you feel more empowered, organized, and confident heading into this new exciting season!

xo Anna

How to feel more balanced as a mom

When I talk with other moms about their biggest struggles and what we need the most, we usually come back to one common theme:

Feeling "balanced”

But what does that look or feel like in real life?

It’s a myth that balance as a mom means giving 100% to everyone and everything.

Because when we inevitably drop a ball, we feel like a guilty failure. Hello, impossible!!

In reality, work-life balance is a constantly moving target, not a destination.

And it’s *not* about spending an equal amount of time and energy on everything.

It’s a continuous, daily process of finding an equilibrium that allows us to feel the most fulfilled so we can thrive and function at our best.

To me, feeling my best is not a solo job.

It involves the support of my partner, family, and community. It also requires some structural support like creating a schedule that allows space for play and rest, as well as time to focus on my work and myself.

But ultimately balance is a state of being.

Underneath the ups and downs of normal life, it’s knowing and feeling like I am capable and competent to handle challenges, having the capacity and time to focus on the things that I’m most passionate about, and being able to work towards long range goals or dreams.

What do you need to feel balanced?

If you want some help in defining what you need, let me be your life coach this week! ✨🤗

Click here​​ to sign up for my free 5 Day Glow Up series, for creative moms.

xo Anna

Hey fellow mom!

Are you feeling burned out, overwhelmed, mentally zonked from a long winter of endless viruses?

Not to mention coming out of the the black vortex of pandemic parenting. YEAHH. Blah.

Let’s flip things around and get your inner glow back!

In the FREE 5 Day Glow Up I will empower you with:

• more positive energy and pleasure WITHIN the daily mom grind

• permission to put yourself first, without feeling guilty

• self-trust and confidence in the decisions you make for your family

• reconnection with your partner (yes the romance is still available I promise!)

• an introduction to your inner Queen Archetype

The 4 inner seasons of pregnancy

I love using the analogy of the four seasons to describe the four phases of the menstrual cycle.

It’s a fun way to connect with your body and understand the constant changes that are happening with your energy and emotional capacity. It’s also a built-in guide to creating a sustainable self care or even work routine that supports our overall wellbeing.

But how can we connect with our cyclic nature during times we aren’t bleeding or if we don’t have a cycle?

If you’re on hormonal birth control, I always recommend following the phases of the moon instead.

Pregnancy and postpartum are unique because they’re temporary but extremely intense times of physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual change and expansion that can feel extremely turbulent because of how fast it all hits us.

How can we make sense of all the crazy hormone shifts in this extremely powerful time in our lives? If you’ve been practicing cycle awareness, losing your cycle can be disorienting.

But we can still apply the seasonal framework, placing it over months instead of weeks.

I like doing this because it’s a reminder that our bodies are doing hard work beneath the surface, and that it’s ok to feel however you feel and cut yourself some slack when necessary!

Here’s how I personally experience the energy seasons of pregnancy. Maybe this will resonate with you too!

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The 4 Inner Seasons of Pregnancy

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First trimester: Winter

First trimester is the epitome of winter to me. All I want to do is go curl up in a cave and hibernate until the nausea subsides and my energy returns. Even though no one else can tell you’re pregnant yet, this is the time where your body is working the hardest to create an embryo and placenta (aka an ENTIRE NEW ORGAN) literally from scratch.

If you’re in your first trimester you probably haven’t shared the news with the world yet so it can feel very isolating and lonely. It’s ok to feel like crap. You can still be grateful for this miracle inside of you while you’re miserable. There’s a tiny adorable parasite in your uterus sucking up all your life force.

My husband and I nicknamed my first trimester alter ego “Blah-na” because regular Anna was completely MIA.

Don’t try to push through, just listen to your body and future out what helps you survive each day, and remember this too shall pass. Ask for help and let your partner pick up as much household slack as possible or take on more childcare of older siblings. You are doing a great job!

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Second trimester: Spring

Just like with a menstrual cycle, the transitions from season to season aren’t clearly defined even though it would be nice to divide them into weeks like the trimesters.

But in general, sometime in the second tri is when I feel my life coming back to me.

The first trimester with my second baby felt a lot harder and longer. I dug out my journals from when I was pregnant with Thomas to calculate the exact timing of when I started to feel better with him. The fog and nausea lifted literally overnight around 14 weeks so that was my lifeline this second time around!

But sure enough, every pregnancy is different, and 14 weeks came and passed with no relief. In fact, I didn’t actually throw up until I hit the second tri, thinking what cruel joke is this?? It didn’t help having a 3 year old bringing me endless head colds from daycare.

My transition out of the winter phase in this second pregnancy happened as slowly and gradually as a Midwestern spring.

But it did happen!

Ironically, spring hit me in January, where we experienced record cloudiness here in west Michigan. While everyone else was in the depths of their seasonal depression, I was lit with a creative fire inside and felt like a productivity dam had broken inside my body and brain.

You can see this shift in how I started suddenly blogging and posting about my goals and plans for the year, ha.

The second trimester is considered the golden age of pregnancy because your energy bounces back but your bump is still small enough to not cause much physical inconvenience yet.

For me, January felt like an early spring phase. I was full of optimism, possibility, and the uncontrollable urge to get organized, braindump the hurricane of ideas and plans, and schedule out my goals and business plans for the entire rest of the year.

I loved that the rest of the world was hibernating so I could buckle down and get to work behind the scenes.

Which was extremely satisfying and a convenient way to start the year!

Spring is a time of taking action and putting plans into motion, but remember your work is still in an early budding phase so pace yourself and don’t launch things too soon.

If you’re in the second trimester, maybe it still doesn’t feel real yet. Your body is animorph-ing into a whale or cow, your belly is growing, you have new aches and pains and you might have more energy but it’s ok if you still feel like crap. It’s ok if you love being pregnant. It’s ok if you hate it. It’s ok if your opinion swings multiple times a day. Wherever you’re at, it’s ok!

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Third trimester: Summer

I’m currently 26 weeks pregnant and feeling my body flow into late spring towards summer. Mentally, I still have lots of creative energy but physically I’m slowing down.

If I don’t take a nap or rest in the afternoon, I hit a wall of exhaustion around 7-8pm (which is highly inconvenient since the 3 year old has decided 9:30-10pm is a good bedtime).

I’m getting lower back pain, round ligament pain, and my internal organs are getting noticeably squished by the growing baby who does jiu jitsu at 10pm (can’t wait until I can just put him in a room with his brother and shut the door so they can party together).

Fittingly, the feminine archetype of the inner Summer phase is the Mother or Goddess.

It’s a season of creative fertility, nurturing yourself and your loved ones, shining your light and being seen.

You can’t hide your pregnancy from the world any longer.

I think of summer as lying in a field or sitting on a patio with friends, soaking up the summer, eating and drinking delicious things, and delighting in the pleasure of BE-ing.

It’s not about productivity any longer. It’s about letting the seeds you planted in spring bloom and flourish.

Or in pregnancy, letting your baby pack on their baby fat as your body slows down and your attention starts to focus on preparing for their arrival.

You’ll know you’re starting to transition from summer to autumn when the nesting urge hits. This might look or feel different to you, but for me with Thomas I went into survivalist prepper mode and had to stock the freezer with meals and deep clean the entire house (actual thought: THIS IS OUR LAST CHANCE TO DUST UNDER THE FRIDGE!).

During my menstrual cycle I usually go through a purge and declutter phase before I get my period but during pregnancy it was a whole new level.

And then it’s pretty obvious when your baby is born, and your hormones nosedive off the most insane biological cliff, triggering what society calls the “baby blues” or postpartum mood disorders.

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Fourth trimester/postpartum: Autumn

All you really need to know about the fourth trimester or postpartum Autumn phase:

IT’S NOT YOU. IT’S YOUR HORMONES + SLEEP DEPRIVATION.

I highly recommend setting up a postpartum support network during your pregnancy because it feels next to impossible to find a therapist or triage your mental and emotional needs while you’re literally in survival mode, trying to keep yourself and a tiny infant alive one day at a time.

Autumn is usually associated with the pre-menstrual phase, and it’s very much hormone dependent. For me, I feel like my brain and body are possessed by a cold thunderstorm of swirling leaves juxtaposed by random glorious sunny warm days. Sometimes multiple times all in one day.

In the first weeks postpartum you’ll experience the highest highs of your life and the lowest of lows.

The deepest love and joy, and the most intense anxiety and fears.

I’m interested to see how the second time goes for me, now I have perspective that this crazy phase doesn’t last forever and more confidence in my abilities to receive support and keep a tiny human alive.

Based on your birth experience, you’ll have to give your body time to heal and recover and grab sleep whenever you can. If you’re breastfeeding, that’s a whole other project in itself as you’re establishing your supply, baby is learning how to latch and eat, and you’re physically dependent on each other 24/7.

This is the crucible of the life transition from maiden to mother, whether it’s your first or sixth time.

If we approach this phase with the reverence it deserves, maybe we’ll make things less hard on ourselves and diminish the natural “mom guilt” that comes when you’re constantly second guessing your decisions and figuring out on the fly what works best for you, your baby, and your family.

You will be rebuilt from the ashes with more strength, wisdom, resilience, and love than you ever thought possible.

If you’re currently trying to conceive, pregnant, or postpartum and would like some support or guidance in how to navigate the ups and downs in your energy as you show up for yourself and your business, click here to schedule a free mini session with me!

xo Anna