Anna Maria Locke

November 2015

the best personal development books for beginners

November 2015Anna LockeComment

Over the last 18 months, I've become quite a personal development junkie.

To be totally honest, I never really knew what "personal development" was before I became a Beachbody coach. Discovering personal development and self-help books was kind of like discovering blogging for me: a WHOLE NEW WORLD opened up that I didn't even know existed.

I never really thought of myself as someone who needed self-help...because we're all supposed to have our shit together, right? But it's changed my life more than anything else, and is the number one secret to how I've had the confidence to quit my job, chase my dreams, and show up every day to build a coaching business.

Why personal development is important

Let's face it. We aren't born to be 100% confident, energetic, and instant masters at what we do. We know we have to take care of our physical bodies by eating right, working out, getting sleep, etc etc but we don't really talk about how we need to take care of our mental and emotional selves. 

The more you learn about yourself, the more you'll be able to understand your quirks, strengths, and capacity for dealing with life, and it's so important to work on our mindset every single day!Have you ever felt like you're stuck, spinning your wheels, in a life rut? It's probably because you haven't been challenging yourself on the inside. If you don't put work into your emotional and spiritual growth, you're going to stay stuck.

Whenever you're going through change in life, whether that's losing weight, starting a new job or relationship, or moving to a new city, it's important to grow and evolve on the INSIDE. If we don't match our inner growth with our external growth, we're never going to feel satisfied with our accomplishments or like we're "good enough." 

You can only go as far as you grow. Your success in life will always be limited by your confidence, skills, and level of self-awareness.

Personal development is heavily encouraged in the Beachbody world, but I think it's important for everyone, regardless of what you want out of life!

Putting myself on a mental/emotional "diet" of personal development books and podcasts over the past 18 months has helped me deal with my perfectionism, anxiety, and low self esteem. I'm still a work in progress but I've learned so much, and helping other women get to know themselves is now my purpose in life.

The more I share about my own journey and inner transformation, the more people have been asking me about my PD book recommendations, so I'm finally going to start sharing more reviews and suggestions on the blog.

Today I'm sharing the five books I started out with that had the greatest impact on my life!

Disclaimer -- I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. This post uses Amazon affiliate link that may earn me a small commission at no additional cost to you.

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My top 5 book recommendations for personal development newbies!

PUSH by Chalene Johnson

This was the very first personal development book I read after becoming a coach! It’s not revolutionary, but it will probably change your life.

What I learned from PUSH

  • That wanting more from my life isn’t wrong.
  • That I have the power to control my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
  • How to set priorities so I know I’m spending my time on what matters most instead of drowning in overwhelm.
  • That I need to stop playing victim and reacting to life, and take ownership and control.
  • How to turn dreams into goals, and then how to develop the confidence to make them happen!
  • Basically, PUSH set the foundation for my entire philosophy and coaching business.

Quotable quotes:

“You don’t need another diet. You need a simplified way to organize your life...a way of living and eating that gives you joy.”

“Balance is possible only when you know how the scales should be set for you.”

“A fit foundation will give you confidence, assurance, and the self-love you need to stop looking outside yourself for acceptance.”

“Happiness is knowing who you are, what you want, and how you want it. Happiness is knowing you are doing the right things for yourself and the right people.”

The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte

I read this book alongside PUSH and I think they complement each other really well, especially if you’re a right brain/left brain combo person like me.

PUSH is about taking the reins and getting shit done. The Desire Map is about leaning back and letting your values and core desired feelings take the lead.

It’s about a creative, soulful approach to success and goal setting.

Whenever you start freaking yourself out or feeling overwhelmed and intimidate by your own plans and goals, The Desire Map is like a sigh of relief that will remind you you’re already good enough, and exactly where you need to be.

This book is half inspiration, and half workbook that will guide you to discover your own Core Desired Feelings, and then help you create a plan to manifest those feelings in all areas of life.

What I learned from The Desire Map:

  • That it’s ok to be a creative, super sensitive, emotional person.
  • That it’s ok to struggle with impolenting routines or systems. Sometimes we don’t NEED systems, we can simply trust ourselves and our intuition.

Quotable quotes:

“Wanting more for your future is not a betrayal of your present or past.”

“Awareness is realizing that our life could always be better. Growth is doing what it takes to make it better.”

“When you respect the darkness within yourself without any guilt trips, you’re becoming truly free.”

“Goals can perpetuate overplanning, and overplanning kills magic and possibilities.”

“You can ease up on yourself without shrinking your dreams.”

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

The title of this book says it all.

It’s the first book I read that I felt SPOKE directly to me when I was going through my first spiritual crisis/awakening in the spring of 2014.

Brene is a writer and research professor who specializes in topics like shame, perfectionism, vulnerability, and authenticity.

What I learned from The Gifts of Imperfection

Brene has helped me learn how to accept myself for who I am, and encouraged me to share my dreams, my story, my ideas, my vision.

This book has also directly shaped and impacted my personal mission and coaching business.

Quotable Quotes:

“Courage is telling our story, not being immune to criticism. Stayiing vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection”

“People may call what happens at midlife “a crisis,” but it’s not. It’s an unraveling--a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you’re “supposed” to live...when you are challenged by the universe to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and to embrace who you are.”

“It’s our fear of the unknown and our fear of being wrong that create most of our conflict and anxiety”

“If we want to make meaning, we need to make art. As long as we’re creating, we’re cultivating meaning.”

“By merely letting go of the list of things we want to accomplish and acquire, we would be actually living our dream -- not striving to make it happen in the future, but living it right now.”

“God lives within us, not above us. Sharing our gifts and talents with the world is the most powerful source of connection with God.”

52 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life by Andrea Owen

Oh Andrea Owen, I love you.

This no-BS life coach speaks to women just like us, who battle perfectionism, low self-esteem, and over-achieving. I recommend it to my new coaches and clients because it's not preachy or "self-helpy," so it's a great starter into personal development.

What I learned from 52 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life

I love this book because it’s divided into 52 bite size mini-chapters, basically a collection of power-packed essays on topics such as taking responsibility, uncovering your personal values, listen to your gut, have more fun, loving yourself, managing yoru inner critic, and ditching your drama addiction and control freak.

She encourages me to keep going after what I want, with no apologies, regrets, or over-analyzing.

Andrea is teaching me how to love myself.

Her podcast is also amazing!

Quotable Quotes:

“It’s not your circumstances that are making you feel a certain way--it’s your thoughts about them. And believe it or not, you’re choosing to keep those thoughts in your life”

“The thing about life, and about personal development, is that sometimes it can seem to get pretty damn serious. Don’t let al that seriousness and hard work bog you down.”

“Confidence is about believing in yourself. Self-esteem is about believing in your worth. Self-love is both of those wrapped up into one, plus more.”

“You are worth what you want.”

“There are several layers to self-confidence and courage, and one of them is the notion of just taking action.”

“Your goals, aspirations, and to-do list shouldn’t feel stressful or destined for failure...Take back your power.”

“Life balance is a crock of shit.”

The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson

Can you tell I favor female personal development authors? Sometimes you have to throw some masculine energy into the mix, and The Slight Edge is a MUST-READ for anyone.

This book is about how we can turn simple daily actions and behaviors into long-term success. It's all about starting where you are, with what you already know. In a world that tells us to expect instant results, it can be really discouraging and frustrating to work towards a big dream or goal that will take patience and time, and it’s easy to get derailed from our vision. I love this book because it reassures us that it’s not about big massive leaps...it’s about the little things we can do to keep us moving forward.

What I learned from The Slight Edge

The Slight Edge taught me how to re-frame my own definition of “success” and gave me a lot of confidence.

Quoteable Quotes

“You alrady know how to do eveyrthing it would take to make you an outrageous success. All you have to do is keep doing the things that have gotten you this far.”

“Successful people fail their way to the top.”

“Work expands to fill the time available for its completion”

“Success is a process, not a destination. It’s something you experience gradually, over time.”

“Courage means to have a purpose and to have heart.”

“Happiness isn’t some big thing you pursue, not something you chase after. It’s something you do.”

“Great success often starts from a tiny beginning-but there has to be a beginning. You have to start somewhere. You have to do something.”

“Leadership is not something you do; it is something that grows organically out of the natural rhythm of learning.”

“You have to start with a plan, but the plan you start with will not be the plan that gets you there.”

“Don’t try to figure it all out. If you want twice the success, double your rate of failure. You start with a plan, then go through the process of continuous learning through both study and doing, adjusting all the time like a rocket ship on the way to the moon, of track 97 percent of the time.”

“Your income will never long exceed your own level of personal development.”


A few tips on reading personal development

If you’re anything like me (which you probably are if you’re reading my blog), you’ll be tempted to binge on personal development, but it’s important not to let your “all or nothing” mindset take over.

A good goal that will keep you moving forward at a steady pace is to read one PD book a month. That will give you motivation to actually finish reading it, and you’ll also have enough time to absorb and process what you’re reading.

Sometimes I check PD books out of the library, but I prefer to buy them because I treat them like a workbook. You want to be able to highlight, underline, scribble notes and breakthroughs in the margins, and constantly be asking yourself "how can I apply this?"

I also love going back and re-reading my favorite books, because you’ll get something new out of them as your life evolves and changes. It’s fun to go back and see my previous notes and take-aways, and how I’ve been able to implement them into my life (or not!)

I hope this post was helpful to you. I'd love to hear your updates or your own book recommendations -- shoot me an email if you have anything to ask, add, or suggest!

xo Anna

Heads up: This post uses Amazon affiliate links that may earn me a small commission at no additional cost to you.

What it feels like to slow down

November 2015Anna LockeComment
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Do you ever feel like you’re constantly rushing through life?

Rushing out the door, rushing through your to-do’s, rushing through errands, running as fast as you can just to stay in place.

Because if you dare to take a break for one second everything will fall apart.

There’s never enough time to do all the things you have to do, much less the things you WANT to do, so you end up feeling constantly pressured, stressed, and overwhelmed, and resentful.

You’re constantly BEHIND on things you can’t even define.

Weekends are even more stressful because you have to catch up on everything you’ve been putting off.

You can never shake this constant nagging feeling of overwhelm that lurks below the surface of your day.

A nagging feeling that keeps you on-edge and never allows you to fully relax, because you have a feeling you’re never quite in the right place or doing the right thing.

So you bury yourself in keeping busy, in staying productive, in crossing off the “to-do’s” and then dumping more on the list, and the cycle of rushing through the surface of life is a self-perpetuating prophecy that allows no happiness or fulfillment to bloom and grow.

This is how I’ve lived most of my life. It sounds horrible, doesn’t it?

When we feel this way and let the daily grind sweep us up and stress us out, when we start to live from survival mode and never give ourselves permission to be quiet and listen to what we NEED, it’s a sign that we’re letting fear control us.

I’m slowly learning how to shift my mindset away from fear and more towards a place of love and trust, because deep down I KNOW the universe isn’t out to get me.

But convincing my subconscious to believe it is easier said than done.

I’m writing this post to process the stuff I’m currently going through on my own journey. If you also struggle with anxiety and perfectionism, I hope this makes you feel less alone.

Autumn is a season of change, introspection, and slowing down. I’m used to the change part, but the slowing down is new to me.

For most of my life I’ve had to speed up in the fall, starting a new school year or season of life. 

I have a tendency to take things too seriously and want to be instantly successful at every new challenge or endeavor. I have a restless mind that’s never satisfied and I've always searched for meaning and truth outside of myself, always feeling like I need to know more, do more, or be better in order to be worthy.

Worthy of what? Success? Love? I don’t even know.

All I know is I’m sick of the constant striving, hustling, seeking. This is the first time in my life that fall doesn’t herald a new transition or phase, and I want to appreciate it more and grow.

I want to seek meaning and truth from within.

I want to be able to relax.

I want more stillness and peace.

I want to let myself just BE, without instantly jumping to what I need to do next.

I want to stop feeling like I’m never enough. Like I never have enough (money, time, talent, resources). Like I never do enough.

Because deep down I know that of course I’m enough.

I have enough.

I do enough.

I am enough.

So I’ve started to break up with my old fear-driven way of living.

It’s hard to completely reprogram your brain, but I know I have to fight for myself if I ever want to be truly happy.

I’m starting to slow down.

I am saying NO to stress and overwhelm.

It feels really really amazing, but of course it’s easier said than done. 

Perfectionism is an angry beast that won’t be slayed with a poof of glitter, a self-help podcast, and a few days of yoga.

Hahahahaha no, this journey is endless, but it is so worth it.

I know there are greater things ahead.

So I’m surrendering my need for control and I'm leaning into the slowness because I know I need it for my own mental and emotional health, and also so I can live my purpose.

I know my purpose in life is to help women take ownership of their own lives and find freedom in being their authentic selves.

Sounds great, right?

But first I need to learn how to do that myself.

Wellll, shit.

I need to let myself slow down so I can listen to my heart, not my head. 

But since I’m not used to slowing down, I am resisting it like mad.

I’m mistrustful of the peace that flits around the edges of my heart.

And the fear is cropping up again.

I am afraid of so many things that might happen if I surrender and let go, release the frantic pace of city life, open my heart and my mind to accept more space and peace and stillness.

I’m afraid of missing out (#millennialprobs!)

I’m afraid of not being good enough.

I'm afraid of letting people down.

I'm afraid of putting myself out there and being seen.

I watch my husband come home at the end of the day and unplug. When he tackles chores or work he doesn’t overthink or over-complicate things, he just buckles down and gets it done. I admire this so much, but I understand it’s not how I’m wired.

I don’t have a natural ability to accept the present moment and focus, because I am so afraid of not doing the right thing. 

But it’s something I can work on every day.

I am teaching myself how to release my emotional attachment on outcomes and goals that exist in the future, and instead live from my values and actions I can take in the present moment to feel the way I want to feel.


Slowing down means giving yourself permission to be happy and feel good right now, no matter what your current circumstances look like. To bring your happiness and self-worth into the present moment, instead of postponing it for the future when you accomplish xyz goal


You have to believe that you DESERVE to receive happiness and love right now. 

It’s really scary and heartbreaking when you realize that you don’t believe you deserve to be happy.

But by slowing down, I am able to bring that happiness into being.

What slowing down feels like to a perfectionist

My anxiety is worse than ever, because I’m cracking open and expanding.

I’m afraid this is too good to be true, the thought that I can just be myself? I don’t have to be productive or accomplish things or chase external achievements?

Yes. It’s not too good to be true.

I don’t have to be perfect.

I don’t have to let other people decide how good or worthy or successful I am.

I feel like a baby, a beginner. I don’t really know how to NOT be productive 24/7 but I’m learning.

I’m practicing every day.

I’m listening to my energy.

When I’m low on energy or feeling down, I’m backing off instead of pushing through.

When the restlessness and anxiety peaks, I get moving and direct it into writing and creating.

I don’t feel EXTERNALLY productive, because I have so many ideas I haven’t been able to make myself implement. But instead of beating myself up I’m letting it just be. Everything will come into being when the time is right.

So in the meantime I’m keeping my breakthroughs and writing to myself.

I’m filling a new notebook every month.

I’m constantly reading, absorbing, processing ideas and listening to my thoughts.

I’m playing around with meditating and doing yoga, which doesn’t come naturally to me.

I have to resist setting goals like “meditate every morning” or “yoga 3x/week” because that triggers my perfectionist again and defeats the entire purpose.

I am learning what “self love” and “self care” really mean.

I’m connecting with my spirituality.

I’m learning how to be ok with my own thoughts, instead of compulsively grabbing my phone to check Facebook or Instagram.

I’m letting myself sleep in, and not measuring my sense of daily accomplishment by how much I achieved that day.

I’m learning not to let my weekly paycheck determine the value of my work, because I don’t trade my time for dollars anymore.

I am paying more attention to my breath.

I'm stopping in the middle of my runs to take in the beauty all around me and take pictures of fall roses.

I am becoming myself.

This is really weird.

I am becoming extra-sensitive to stuff like the energy of other people. Alcohol and caffeine.

I will be buzzed on one glass of wine.

If I drink too much at my friend’s wedding, my heart will race for most of the next day.

I’ve had to cut caffeine out of my life, except for decaf Americano’s and occasional black tea, because even one cup of coffee will give me heart palpitations and trigger panic.

I feel like I am going through a personal Rennaissance.

I am re-connecting to my imagination and creativity, after years of suppressing it because I believed it was "unrealistic" or "a waste of time."

Nothing is a waste of time if it makes you happy.

It’s ok to make stuff just for the sheer pleasure of making stuff.

It’s ok to have a lazy weekend and not get stuff done.

It’s ok to unplug and not constantly post about your life. No one cares. No one is judging you.

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

By slowing down I am learning how to trust myself.

By learning how to trust myself I am expanding into the real me.

xo Anna